Talking about funerals rarely feels comfortable. Many of us make casual remarks — "just keep it simple" — but those comments often mask deeper wishes for simplicity, sustainability or personalisation that never get fully explored. With input from Beccy Edgar of Grave Expectations, this piece looks at how planning ahead creates space for choices that truly reflect a life.
Starting the conversation
Advance planning removes uncertainty for the people we leave behind. A conversation, however brief, means families aren't left guessing at what their loved one would have wanted — and can honour those wishes with confidence.
The value of a prompt book
Beccy's approach uses prompt books: structured questions that gently encourage reflection on the atmosphere of a service, music, readings, themes and personal touches. Rather than forcing difficult decisions all at once, preferences can be considered gradually — and recorded where family can find them.
Making choices more accessible
Planning ahead also opens up more thoughtful material choices. Modern sustainable options like our forest board coffins let people express a wish for simplicity while still allowing personalisation — designs reflecting hobbies, places and personal aesthetics — without requiring an elaborate ceremony.
Supporting funeral directors
We're encouraged by funeral professionals who actively facilitate these conversations with tools and a wider range of options. It removes uncertainty and creates more meaningful farewells.
Thoughtful planning needn't be complicated: simple conversations and a few notes can grow into something personal, considered and deeply reassuring for everyone involved.